At some point over the weekend, I opened my calendar and counted down the days until I fly home for Thanksgiving. My mom visited me last week and I’ve been feeling more homesick since she left. I keep reminding myself to take things day by day and in less than a month, I’ll have four glorious study-free days.
When I met with one of my professors recently, I mentioned that I was really tired. I didn’t elaborate, but he nodded and said that at this point in the semester, most students are fighting off burn-out. He pointed out that this was a common pattern every year and that most, if not all of us, are finding ways to push through until break.
After feeling completely exhausted for the weeks following my second exams, I think I am struggling with burn-out. I looked in the mirror in this morning and I’m convinced that my eyes look dead. I’m tired and irritable 87% of the time and I worry that all I do now is complain. I complain because my study habits aren’t sustainable and I’m simply tired of worrying about whether or not I’m smart and talented enough to thrive here. I’m upset I didn’t do more things to prevent myself from burning out, but there’s nothing I can do about that now.
I’m still figuring out how to move forward from here. I know I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and miraculously feel 100% again. I do know however, that the little things matter, especially now, more than ever. From eating dinner without reviewing my notes, to making time for a 20 minute workout. To begin practicing yoga again and consider investing in studio classes, even if they are a little pricey and I have to go downtown for them. To taking time to simply write to process my day, even when I get anxious for not using the time to study.
Baby-stepping my way through each day and doing my best to embrace the highs, cope with the lows, and everything in-between.